Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Wonder Woman details??? Start turning off the TV now...ugh!

Okay … since we know that NBC officially picked up David E. Kelly‘s new Wonder Woman TV series for the Fall we know that things are moving forward on production of the show. Bleeding Cool claims to have seen the script and they reveal unspoilery deets that cause me (and I’m sure other fans) a great deal of concern.

Bleeding Cool has now read a draft of the pilot script, and without issuing a single real spoiler, want to let you know just what you’re in for. This new Wonder Woman does feature a lot of elements and characters from the comics continuity:
  • There’s a Myndi Mayer, herein portrayed as Diana’s BFF.
  • There’s a scene with comics character Etta Candy, a role that’s pretty much written like a job offer to Melissa McCarthy.
  • Long ago, government man Steve Trevor crashed onto Wonder Woman’s island and brought her back to New York, but now they’ve split up. She still loves him, though, and it’s obvious that their relationship is going to be a focus.
  • Diana might not have an invisible jet (if she did, I didn’t see it) but she has a whole rainbow’s worth of over coloured aircraft.
  • She has the lasso, and those bracelets with which she deflects bullets.
  • Her nemesis is Veronica Cale, who in this continuity is an evil scientist and rival businesswoman with a secret, nefarious plan that you’ll probably guess ahead of time.
But there’s a lot that’s different too. As well as her Diana Prince alter ego (the Clark Kent disguise that’s achieved by putting her hair up, wearing glasses and cutting back on the make-up) Wonder Woman also has a third guise and a day job as Diana Themyscyra, the head of Themiscyra industries. While little Ms. Prince is a disguise, it is well known in this world that Ms. T and Wonder W are the same – think Tony Stark and Iron Man from the end of their first film on. There’s a CSI-ish group of science-nerd 20-somethings living in her basement that dance to Kanye West and will doubtlessly help Diana solve any number of crimes in further episodes. But who is she? Like, you know, emotionally? Well, this Wonder Woman:
  • Identifies with ET the Extra Terrestrial when his movie comes on TV.
  • Really loves planes. Like really.
  • Pines for Steve like Carrie for Big.
  • Wants to belong and be “among” people, not just “with” them.
  • Sings along to the radio in multiple scenes – but nothing with a hairbrush in front of the mirror just yet.
  • Doesn’t like being “marketed, commercialized, merchandised”, though she is – there’s a joke about Wonder Woman tie-in dolls having their costumes redesigned that seems to reference the recent makeover for the comics.
  • When she’s Diana Prince she’s a mousey Miley Stewart, when she’s Diana Themiscyra she’s the Hanna Montana of businesswomen, and when she’s Wonder Woman she’s Wonder Woman – which is precisely twice in the whole episode.
  • Is a capitalist.
  • Puts on her PJs for an ice-cream filled sleepover with best friend Myndi.
So, well, well, well, what do you know? It’s a slightly goofy comedy-drama about a hotshot business woman who moonlights as a superheroine, packed with Girl Power pop-songs and including the awkward phrase “You go, girl.” But does it work? Well, some of the jokes are good, but the general dramatic situation seems a bit thin, the character relationships are, to be kind, familiar, and there’s nothing in the plot that merits any special recognition. As Buffy-inspired as this script no doubt was, Joss Whedon it ain’t. Can you imagine Whedon having an action scene play out to Beyonce’s Single Ladies?
What the SERIOUS F*CK?! No … no no no no no … NO. This sounds … HORRIBLE! Look, I am all for updating classic characters for a new era but this, if true, sounds like a bunch of bullshizz. Bleeding Cool even offers up a scan from the script:

I’m actually embarrassed by this. Dear Lord Baby Jebus, please let this either be A.) a joke, B.) a total fabrication or C.) a rejected first draft … cuz if this crap turns out to be the way Wonder Woman will be presented on TV again, I won’t watch.

Do any of you think any of THIS sounds like a good idea … for any show?

**Pink Is The New Blog

**NOte - I love David Kelly, but sometimes perfection does not need a reboot for the idiot masses...

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